The Secrets Of Cultivating More Happiness Every Day
Often we search for happiness in external temporary things, which eventually predict disappointment.
If only happiness was gained by losing weight, having a certain body type, a face lift, promotion or income.
We have been fed these messages for years and at some point many have come to believe the fable that the fabulist would have us believe, that's correct, there is usually a corrupted moral to the story that inevitably will make someone else, wealthier or happier.
Happiness though is an internal experience, enjoyed from within, our true self.
We have many barriers that might sabotage our experience of happiness on a daily basis.
We all have the internal saboteur, I wonder how you self sabotage?
I wonder if you are ready to let go of what is holding you back, not allowing you to live your full life, the life you are meant and entitled to live.
This self sabotage might include, worrying about what others think, just practising worrying about anything, placing ourselves in a hierarchy of success, staying busy, having a perfectionist mindset, noticing what is wrong in our world, this is known as an external locus of control.
Thankfully, we can overcome these obstacles, here are some ways we can cultivate happiness every day by wondering.
I Wonder How You Feel About Changing For The Better?
I Wonder - Is So Much Better Than I Worry
We can spend destructive time thinking about negative consequences that might never happen in our life, those possibilities that might never happen, can reduce the quality of our present experience and they are only possibilities?
One of the fastest ways to reduce the frenetic pattern of over thinking about the “what-ifs" is to use the turn around approach. This is very different from just pretending everything is OK or even perfect, and yet allows balance to our emotional experience.
Examples might be:
Fear of failure: I might fail?
Try the, I wonder: I wonder, how it would be if things go better than planned, and I am happier than I ever thought I could be?
Fear of rejection: I could be rejected?
Try the, I wonder: I wonder, what if I am accepted, how will my life change for the better?
Fear: What will others think if it does not work out?
The I wonder: I wonder how it will feel to realise my ambition. I look forward to living with more happiness.
Another approach is to wonder how we might support a close friend, a younger you or a child. How would you guide and nurture them?
How would an optimistic friend handle this scenario?
What helps your optimistic friend to have a more optimistic perspective, have you asked them?
See Life as an Adventure
We all need to make plans and have direction however, allowing life to develop brings back spontaneity, surprise and enjoyment; by seeing life as unfolding and expanding, we can enjoy the creative adventure. Appreciating the moment, relaxing into the present, allows the surprise and wonderment into our lives.
It can be disappointing when expectations are not met, acceptance is the key to happiness. Looking for five great things everyday, embracing the magic in every moment and noticing those tiny things that make us smile. Waiting for a miracle to happen or judging ourselves against others can be so destructive.
Being an active participant in our own lives, realising how meaningful each moment is, allows the appreciation of life.
Being Authentic (Carl Rogers)
Being honest and real with ourselves and others instead trying to be what we think we should be, allows us to be who we truly
are. We start by identifying how we feel about ourselves, our needs and what we want and slowly move toward acting on these.
What excites and fascinates you, what engages, recharges and lifts you, debating your preferences and what you feel like doing is uplifting. A while ago, someone told me "good food is what you enjoy, if that's a burger, that's good food to you."
The more you get to know who you really are and what you really want, the better you can understand and connect with your feelings and the happier you are likely to be, When you can, start moving away from the shoulds and shouldn'ts, these are parental words of control that we internalise, you are an adult now, within your own boundaries of morality, you can have, do and achieve what you want.
Authentic living offers a freedom for those with the courage to be happy and live a real life.
The Secrets Of Cultivating More Happiness Every Day
If in some small way this article has resonated with you and you would like to learn more, whether for yourself, someone you care for or you would like to take this approach when developing your practice, perhaps you are already a therapists and would like to add to your skills, this might be the weekend or even the course for you.
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